*

20041027

stomach's getting back at me again..taking revenge for not attacking me for nearly one week lerr.

very cold.yet hot.
its very cold now cuz im in the com lab and i din bring my windbreaker.and further i never wear double layer todae.its hot cuz todae the whtr very hot.walk a few metres onli i start to perspire lor.but owells.i dun care la.

class posting.
its so shit lor.it took me more than an hour to decide lor.in the end the combination i take is.
.english
.maths
.amaths
.higher malay
.pure bio
.combined physics and chem
.pure lit
.ss+hist
choosen this after considering it for very long.and i confirm in this combi le.cuz like ive said the minimum for this combination is 50% and my percentage is 61.5%.and actually i din wanna take hmt.but i change my mind this morning.had to find a tablet pc to change my options lor.went up to 1g3 and used weling's tablet pc.thanks weiling..yupp.anw.i hoope that i made the right choice man.i dun wanna regret de lor.but owells its done and i cant change my options cuz the deadline is todae, 9am.so its like yea lor.im sure cikgu kartinie wud b happy lor.cuz she wanted me and ashikin to take hmt.she say we got the ~~potential~~.bleh.like waddehell lor.i cant even get distinction for hmt.i always get distinction is cuz my ca and sa marks pull up de lor.haha.

~~condition~~
no improvement.still like that.hurt badly yesterday and today morning.can juz die man.but yea.i juz wish i wud really die.wudn that b better?

fancy drills.
will b having fancy drills later.frm 2.30-5.30.gosh.3 hours lor.and its drills summore lor.and guess wad?im still fasting todae.3 hours filled with drill but no water for me at all?sighh.but like ive said i enjoy doing it.cuz its very fun.gonna b assigned a rifle each.wonder wad number mine would b..-ponders-

k larx.
gtg lerr..
wanna go recess and pass letter to sumone.yupp.
byee.

lovedd.<3
;9:58 AM.x

20041026

my stomach's hurting badly again..

todae.
now at aunt's house.used her com to do the e-streaming thing.i really dunno wat to choose lor.cuz its like i wan pur bio and chem.den pure lit.but none of the criteria fit this subjects that i wan.its either i take physics chem pure lit.or bio combined phy chem and pure lit.but i really dunno wat to take lor.i have until tmr 9 o'clock to edit this thing.i wish sumbody can help me lor.cuz if i put pure physics and chem as first choice i may have the risk of not getting it.but if i put pure bio combine physics chem i have the high chance of getting it cuz my percentage is 61.5% whereas the minimum requirement is 65%.but its like i really need to do a wise choice lor.cuz its like i dun wanna regret next year.sighh.i reali dunno.

my condolences.
would like to give my condolences to a levelmate who juz passed away yesterday.the news very shocking.the class juz did a fund raising thing for her last week and she died yesterday.to any 2g2 ppl hu read my blog..pls help me send my condolences to her family.i shall observe one minute of silence now.......
ok one minute over.may her soul rest in peace.

holidaes.
whole holidays are packed with stuff.most of it dominated by npcc activity.but owells help me fill up my time.so its kinda good in a way.cuz if im gonna stay at home for two whole month im sure to rot of boredom.kinda glad im in the fancy drills thing tho.yupp.

~~condition.~~
its neither getting better nor worst.the fasting month made it worst i guess.it churning and twisting now..aww..cant type first..shit..-squeezes tummy-..gosh.hurting badly again.dunno whtr i wanna go doc.cuz at the most he'll gimme pills pills and more pills.i think i can go make a collection of pills liao.ergh.know many ppl had been asking me to go see mr.doc.but i juz cant yea?yupp.

hair.
its kinda long now.thot of cutting it a lil shorter.as in those kind short but still can tie type.cuz i thin i look very ugly in short hair.and i seriously prefer long hair.cuz my hair is quite curly ma.so if cut short not nise.its gonna look very screwd.if long then can at least tie..yupp.

anw gtg byee

lovedd.<3
;6:03 PM.x

20041025

life's ok...

todae.
now with ct and nadrah in the com lab.but anw.today did stg stupid lor.cleaned up homec room for sum clean and green thing.den before that had to take over hanizahs place for presenting the innovation thing.well it wasn that bad la.juz that i felt a lil extra.yupp.but then the ~~damn bloody~~[oops shudn b so vulgur during fasting month] judges said that our invention cant work..its like wad the..lor..eurgh.anw.its over.haha.oh my limbs muscle and body very pain.hurting so much lor.especially yesterday.but im glad its ok now.tmr got armpower trng.i dun wanna do wrist exercise.rather do pumping.so much more fun lor.but yea.it depends on the maams lar hor.

fasting month.
owells.been like 11 days since the first day of fasting month.one word to have in mind..endure.haha.but really have to endure lor.especially wen facing the temptation of food and drinks.but yea.if i can do it for the last 13 years or so.im sure i can do it this year again ryt?haha.this is called..self-consoling.haha.kk im crapping.

fancy drills.
very fun.went down on sta to do fancy drills.suppose to have ri competition but in the end its postponed to 18 nov.erm pt..i can go on the 18 nov.dun need to find replacement for me le..cuz mum will be working thus i cant go out on that day.yupp.well.anw.learn alot fun drills on sat.but my head got knocked by the rifle twice while doing the exchanging of rifle.first one was by rebecca second was done by pt.pt's one was hard until today still got the pain.luckily got no bruise lor.did nov and dec holiday schedule.realise that we have 13 sessions of fancy drills lor.but im sure evrything will turn out well.o did i mention?the formation of the whole thing is very nice.can see that alot of effort is put in.am sure its gonna turn out well next year.yupp.on sat after the last water break felt like fainting man.cuz i was very dehydrated.den very very tired.stomach started to hurt again.so i was practically squatting down.glad that they decided to end the fancy drills.if they continued i think i could have fainted lor.cuz i could feel myself pale-ing and my head was spinning.but overall it was fun.sort of lookingforward to future practices especially those after fasting month.cuz hor after that i wun b that weak le.heh.

class posting.
i still dunno wat class to go lor.cuz my average percentage of sci and maths onli 61.5% and the requirement is 65%.sighh.most prob ill b taking pure bio combine physics and chem.den pure lit and ss+hist.but all this not confirm yet lor.yuppers.

owells gtg le.ct wanna leave le.better stop now and leave before she kills me.heh.byee.

lovedd.<3
;2:03 PM.x

20041021

life's a lil better..~~i miss my jie..wish she was here..~~

share a thot.
well apparently im in the share a thot thing tmr lor..haha.and my character is senile.im suppose to b sum crazy lunatic person.haha.but my character doesn really show that im senile more of me being stupid.haha.well.actually din wanna act but in the end i decided to b part of it juz now.so have been practicing..and it turn out ok.not that bad la hor considering it quite a last minute thing.heh.owells i juz wish i wudn screw up my lines tmr..but actually i onli have few lines la hor.haha.oh and know wad?i get to bully nadd by being senile cuz hor...ill be pushing her off the chair!!!woohoo~!funfun..=]

life.
i think father's ok ba.well they nv tell me anything yesterday oso.i juz hope evrything went well.thats all i can wish for.and life's been alil' better.i shall pray that itll stay this way.

armpower.trng
todae had armpower trng.3 ppl never turn up.yupp.did like 55 pumpings.cuz suppose to b 45 but because we timed too soft so started back to 0 went we already reach 10.after that plus another 20 pumpings cuz actually five ppl din turn up from our sq and plus another 5 from sec ones.den each person that did not turn up we have to do 2 extra pumpings.so 2x10=20.yup so altogether did 65 pumpings.then after that suppose to do more armpower trng using 1.5 litre bottle.but in the end cuz sum ppl din bring the bottles so we did another 20 so altogether 95 pumpings.den after that did 45 'dips'[dunno whtr thats the correct spelling].but yea.i think its ok la.no comments on it.

sec3.posting.
i dunno wad combi to go lor.muz go consult seniors cousin and also my parents le.i dun wanna make a wrong choice lor.yuppers.and the due date is like next wednesday.well wish me luck..

well gtg le.got ntg to write already.heh.

lovedd.<3
;2:38 PM.x

20041020

results really sux..

results.
failed my english and maths.eurgh..maths is like f9 lor pls.omg.but at least today got the combined i never fail any subjects.but hor...i dunno whtr to take higher mother tongue anot.haha.its like i really dunno lor..sighh.well i juz cant hope for the best la hor.yupp.

~~father's in [that place] now..sighh...~~

dun wish to blog furthur..sighh.

lovedd.<3
;3:48 PM.x

20041018

my stomach's hurting now..very pain..the kidney are dere..

results.
its not out yet lor.went to skool cuz i tot gonna receive results but in the end never even receive one lor.cuz the teachers were doing marks moderation.sumhw i feel that the faster i receive back my marks the better it is.i juz wan it asap.and it was so boring in skool lor.was practically rotting in class.wrote my diary..not really a diary actually cuz in the end it wud be given to my jie..yupp.and now here i am with kelly and may in the COM LAB!!! ~~madness~~

~~madness~~
#1:been luffing like crazy cuz of kell.
shes beside my ryt now.going crazy over minwoo.her new found love..i shud say.she's super retarded lor.everytym she saw minwoos picture she'll go he's so cute..omg.. den she'll grab either my or may's hand.and go gaga over him.haha.she's mantally retarded..[at least may and me agreed on that].and ive been luffing at her madness.she's realy cranky lor.always brightened up my day le.she and her lame and stupid jokes.but it never fail to make me luff.haha

#2:decided to xchange shoe with nadd.at first onli wanted to change one side.but in the end decided to change both sides.im stuck with it.nadd say i look nice in her shoes.well i love her shoes.its sketchers.ahahax.one of my fav brand.yupp.been wanting to buy the shoes for like how long?but wat i wanted was obv nicer than hers.cuz the one i wanted has no shoe lace one.den very chio.but yea.i tink nadd's shoes alil' too big for me oso.and nadd is wearing my shoe..she looks nice in it.tho i prefer her in her old shoes.i think dark colour shoes are nicee for her lor.and guess wad we decided on?weve decided that we shall xchange shoe for a dae.woohoo~!well it was her idea in the first place.and i had no objection..i mean..why not?haha.owells.her shoes rather nice to wear..tho i missed the spongey spongey feeling of my old shoes.haha.

you.
thks for being there this morning.helped alot.mayb meet you on wed and tell u the whole thing.cant meet you tmr cuz got armpower trng..~~eurghh..-dreads-~~..but anyway thanks alot..like ive said to fallen-without-wings..i wud like to say it to you too..i juz cant go to the docs.im sorry.im sure u understand now ryt..yupp.

life.
todae is my happiest day so far.i wished it wud be like this forever.i realised that i missed being happy even for a mere half an hour.im realy happy todae.i luffed the most.thanks to kelly and her madness that is..haha.but yea.i really wanna b happy.i guessed its onli gonna last for a few hours onli.wen i reach home.reality gonna struck me again..home=dad=~~going to court~~..'=' equivalent to remind me of..big clue of wads happening in my life to those who dunch..im juz scared..oh no kelly and may left le.aarghh.its so quiet now.im so lonely..~~again~~

anw.gtg le.deciding whether to go and support yh for her inter-house game or go home and rest..
interhouse?
home?
interhouse?
home?
interhouse?
home?
interhouse?
home?
.....................................

lovedd.<3
;1:46 PM.x

20041015

i think im dying..soon..

life.
its so bad ryt now...i dunno y [it] is affecting me so much..i juz dun wan [it] to happen..the day is coming nearer..i juz dun wan that day to cum..but i cant help it..time is flying so fast..too fast..its like [it]'s gonna happen in like earliest 5 DAYS..longest 13 DAYS..i juz wish [it] wudn happen..its a ffecting me badly..

todae.
first day of fasting month..not that bad la..used to it considering the fact that i juz fasted like 2 weeks ago..so yea..im juz feeling very sick now.. the part around my kidney hurting badly..i feel like as tho my waist is gonna b detached frm my body..hurting from yday..den juz now sat alone after skool at the red table behind the canteen..suddenly thot of the things thats gonna happen..den plus sum other problems in my life..and my kidney area there ar..hurting like crazy..so i juz sat there and...~~cry~~..i cant help it..it juz came naturally..been ~~crying~~ alot lately..owells.next sure ill have a major brkdwn be it mental brkdwn or emotional brkdwn..ill sure brkdwn..cuz y...? RESULTS are out..and i foresee bad things gonna happen...ar..suan le la...i shall juz leave it to fate..

well i gtg le..
~~i miss my *jie alot todae..wish she was here..-cried again-~~

lovedd.<3
;2:11 PM.x

20041014

hmm..wad more can i sae...

todae.
well had catapult competition in the morn..owellx surprising ly my catapult could work..haha..todae oso break record man..if im not wrong 7 ppl never come to skool..or issit 9?heh..but wadeva it is..i know the figure was quite beeeg..owells hu cares about coming to skool for post exam activity ryt?haha.anw.after that went for recess v early cuz couldn b bothered with the catapult shit thing..haha..had almost like one hour of recess haha?den went to meet boyfren..she sweet de..slept on her..haha.well then after that went to auditorium to watch sum movie thing..todae's movie is called "quill"..yesterday watched "day after tomorrow"..i think that show very nice..the effects chao cool..but too bad i had to leave quite early..had to go IMM after school to buy box..haha know it sounds lame but yea..went to daiso and buy an orange box..cuz my old box spoil le..hehe.bought one for sis oso...heh..she owe me $2!!..k im crazy..wanted to but the rainbow coloyred candles but it wasn there alredi..

life.
omg..i cant believe it..wad have i juz done juz now?was it worth my sacrifice?lifes making aturn for me again.im afraid..im afraid of the future..the dark future..i dun wan [it] to happen to my family or rather..specifically...my father...i dun wan [it] to happen..if [it] does happen..my family would be in a total disaster...y muz all this happen to me??i feel so sick..my stomach had been hurting badly...wanted to go doc but...considering the fact that [it] might happen..i dun dare to tell my mother cuz i dun wanna use anymore of her money..cuz i know that she needs it..im juz afraid.. ~~noones dere for me~~

you.
im sorry..i dunno wads happening to me..like ive said in my letter..wen i get to meet u one day..ill tell you wads happening to me..im juz scared ryt now..very scared..im too afraid to face the future..and to face the thing that might happen to my family..i really dun wanna face it..its too scary..

lovedd.<3
;2:45 PM.x

20041013

lifes bad..i hate it..

exams.
it over.-phew-..finally lor pls..but i have to bear the torment wen getting back the results next week.eurghh.knw wad?my history paper i onli did 1 out of 2 SEQ and that made me lose 25 marks oredi..den SBQ section d i din do oso...argh..33 marks gone juz like that leh..-sobx-..will juz hope for the best ryt now..tho im really scared...cried after history paper.nearly had a mental brkdwn during dnt paper.suddenly all the dnt stuff i learn all gone from my head..but luckily..i told myself to calm down..and yea slowly i could do it one by one..but still there were some blank in the paper..well its over la..no point brooding over it..

marking days.
i tink i rotted almost half of my body during the marking days lor...my com oso cant use can?eurghh..but yea..watch tv the whole day like no body business lor..but who cares in the first place?noone cares about me wat..and furthurmore im alone at home..im free..noone can control me..-stucks out tongue-

problems.
im very scared..totalli scared..at the end of this month stg bad will happen..but i will not mention it here..i can onli wish for the best.

you.
muz you do dis to me..i know u dun care about me aredi ryt?well..i knew it ryt from the start.do you know big problems are entering my life ryt now..but u left me alone like this..i dunno wat to say..i know you love her and onli her..but..ah..forget it..i wish you happiness in everything you do..

well i gtg le byee.

lovedd.<3
;1:49 PM.x

20041002

got so many exams cuming up..im so stressed..

[tests.]
tmr is my religious class test lor.and its like im not that confident of it.and the next day is finals.i very scared k..im afraid i cant make it.lit..sigh..i dun i can make it either.yucks test sux manx.

[me=sensitive.]
m at aunts house now.been running like shit away from the cat..i tink cats are cute creatures but im juz afraid of them alrite?and im a very sensitive person man.my aunt had ben trying to 'touch' me..i mean its like she know i evrywhere oso sensitive.then she purposely touch me here and dere.den i was screaming like sum mad person manx.then she was like..i dunno wad will happen if ure married man..-hinthint-..she a lil' sick la.yepp.

[fridae.]
had music test.kelly did not cum to skool.miss my assembly partner.heard that she's sick.kell:get well soon k?hope to see you on monday.read ur blog and the doc say u might have asthma..take care k?and eat ur medicine hor..yepp.the day before that ure ok wad..but anw.juz take care yea?

yepp.gtg la.bye..

lovedd.<3
;9:13 PM.x