lovedd.<3
lovedd.<3
they are finally over...
a great load of my back manx...
dun tink i can pass geog and lit anw...
screwd up both papers...
geog was simply AMAZING...
[life.]
sux...
ditch-ed...[yet again]
y is this happening?
totalli sux lorx...
feelings of hatred.anger.betrayal.backstabbings are whelming over me...
cried gallons of tears that dae...
shall not mention wen..
but it was the day that juz went pass...
a day where evryone was happie x-cept for me...
i tink i totalli scared farzanah off thru my condition that dae...
was crying badly...non-stop...
guess it juz reaches my peak that day..
im juz too tired...sick of living life the painful way...
things doesn seem to gt beta either...
it juz seems that evryting's gonna repeat itself...
my depressions and stuff...
ive been kping evryting to myself all this while...
but i have my limits too u knw...
and that day...
wen i broke dwn...
ntg seems to help at all...
mayb ive been kping too much too myself...
its hurting deep dwn inside..
too much for me to take it either...
wat i knw is...
i juz hafta live thru this...
for i knw...
this depressions and sufferings will onli end on the day my life end or maybe...
is being ended[<--read between this line and ull knw wat i mean]...
[farz.]
thankew thankew thankew so much for being there for me...love u so much...[dun get the wrong idea here]as a fren..THANKS for the tissue paper...abit the lame lar horx...but anw thankew...-hugx-
[kelly.]
knw ive been disappointing u [and her] agn and agn and agn..but yupx...totalli sorrie for that...and i reallie mean it...i din even realise i was doing it...was juz too ermx?depressed..yupx...-hugx-
[zakk.]
tanks for being by my side too yea?thks for trying to cheer me up..appreciate it soo much...-hugx-
[dinie.]
hahax..i juz knw u anw...but wadeva it is...thks for being there for me on my most down moments..thks loadies...-hugx-
;10:30 PM.x
20040502
brain tumour..hw hw?pain lorx..shud i go skl tmr?wanted to have study grp w candice...but was too unwell le..[cand:sorry k?was juz too sick le...]theres seriously stg wrong w me..wads happening?feel lyk gorging myself w panadols to make the pain disappear...gonna find panadols le...and i mean alot of panadols...or pills...-hitting my head- the pain juz cant go away..mum made me choose a choice todae...
#1:gives me $50 amonth instead of $80.all hp bills paid by myself.and she's not gonna fork a single cent out...but i can bring phone to skl...nid to surrender at 10pm evryday
#2:ill get my full monthly allowances..hp bills all paid by parents..not a single cent frm me..but i cant bring my hp to skl and i nid to surrender it at 10pm evryday...
after much thinking i chose #2...the reason is simple...i juz cant pay my own bills and i nid money...but the worst thing in this scenario is that i cant bring my phone to skl...and i reach hm at abt 6 evryday...which means i cn onli use my phone for 4 hrs...but owellx...its worth it i guess..if it means..no nid to pay my own bills and hving more money for myself without hving to starve myself in skl everyday...anw..i dun reallie use my fone in skl...so yeah...dun sms me after 10...anw...my sis chose #1 instead...so wad i hafta say is...GD LUCK SIS!
[yesterday.]
went to johore..celebrated mother's day[advanced]...ate at this 'restaurant' on stilts...and ive learnt to think that mudskippers are cute creatures..cuz wen u look dwn...wad u can see is mudskippers[yucks]saw one big fat mudskipper...was imagining wad wud happen if i fall into the muddy watertotalli cant imagine manx..the whole place reminds me of mangrove park in singapore...with all the pencil roots and stuff...totalli the same manx...except there's a food place there...another think i found out is...i can totalli singapore from there lorx...and for once...my phone had reception for a few hours...after that went to a distant relative's hs...gosh...can imagine myself living in the hs...actually wad freaked me out are the animals there...i juz hate cats and chickens[though i eat chiken]...frm young until now..i fear this 2 animals though they are harmless...den went shopping at giant w auntie..veh nice..bought lasagna..kewl..haven ate that for quite sumtym...then while eating dinner out of nowhere a cat jumped out...scared the hell out of me...yuckkkkks...shtoopid...look lyk sum kinda fool...hehx..reach home at abt erm 9.30?10?ahahax...had a fun tym yday...
ok gtg le...my head seriously hurting agn...-hitting head badly.madly-
yupx...byee...
;11:05 PM.x
wishlist
star bracelet.
a new wallet
new pencilbox
new bag.
engraved ring.
*to be with you forever
blogskiin by;jolenex
respect.x