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todae is totalli malu-ating day for me...
me and zakkiyya nearly got scolded by a tcher...
this is the scenario...
zakkiyya took my precious diary and was opening it...at that tym we were sitting on the steps...then..wen she snatched it frm me i wanted to snatched it back..but she ducked away...so she basically 'lying' on the floor...and i went to stretched my had over her and grabbed my book..and we were making quite a din..and out of nowhere a tcher appeared...he stared at us and showed a shtopid face...i gt scared and i moved away frm theta place and decided to wait for becca...
den...i tripped 3 tyms todae...
#1:i went dwn frm the hall thru the canteen staircase..wen reached the ground floor i walk and walk and din realise got one need to step dwn..so i trip dere...my left foot was hurting liao...and i was luffing the hell out of me...
#2:at the same tym we i was luffing i din realise there was another descending step...and i totalli fall off then..i was mourning..groaning and luffing in pain...really need to thk kelly[chen] for helping me up to the classroom..tink i twisted my right ankle..in the end both ankle were hurting..but the right ankle one more pain...cuz the step was higher...
#3:after skl...was waiting for bossybarbie to take her bag frm the canteen..then wen going up the rotunda saw 3 maams.so we greeted them..then was walking up the rotunda to meet zakkiyya and this dumb me juz hafta trip at the last step of the flight of stairs..i was lyk going 'wooow' and the worst thing is that dere was a junior infront of...1g3 and also frm np...she and her frens [frm 1g3] also were totalli luffing their heads off...and me?totalli embarassed..started luffing too...and i tink the 3 maams saw wad happened...whtr they luffed anot...i dunch knw..ahahax...but wad i knw is...wen i left the rotunda...i turned back and saw one of them luffing..whtr its bcuz of me anot...i dunch knw...
totalli malu-ated myself today...
horrible manx...
piglet...
anw..these are the nicknames
me:monkey.dodo.dummie.birdbrain
claudia:momgoose
becca:bossybarbie
peiting:egomonster
candice:fluffyhead
teresa:miss toot
cool huh?
k gtg liaox...
wanna go study liaox...
GD LUCK EVERYONE FER UR EXAMS!!!=D
;7:45 PM.x
Promo.
screwd up.totallli screwd up...reach queenstwn at lyk 7.15???evryone was oredi at lieast thier drill badge..and we??[bossybarbie.me.fluffyhead.egomonster.mongoose.ms toot.aysha.bee kuan.yakka.]start our promo at onli lyk 01145 waited for lyk 4 hrs before we get to do out 3rd class drills... then we were chao ji happie wen we found out that our grp passed with flying colours.the misery din end there...we ended the 3rd class drills at lyk 1300.waited and waited for our real promo.waited and waited...hours passed...still no call for us...i was damn hungry...din eat breakfast...and neither did we have lunch..but we were still waiting.enduring.i tink i cud hv fainted anytym.after lyk 3 hrs...its finally our turn.fine then we went to the parade square and fall in...rushed back to the hall to take batons.OUR GROUP were the onli grp hu hafte hold our batons thruout e promo...and we din even knw there was a command for taking out the baton...so the whole of cgs was lyk 'huh?'..fine that was juz the beginning...then suddenly got one command 'hormat senjata' and we agn din knw that command...so i was telling the sir that it wasn in the command list given to us for our promo..guess he din blif us and ask me for the criteria list.so i told him 'its in skl sir' and he told us to learn on the spot...ok..we endured that too..then the freaking GESS timing was different...and we kp on doing e wrong tings due to the diff timing..n to trust that i was oredi tearing wen doing the hentak kaki...but held back all the tears.den there was a change in the timing for berhenti during slow march..and we din knw abt it too..and agn we were [forced] to learn it on the spot...and suddenly come out one command[tho i cant rmb] that requires us to change step during slow march..and i totali have no idea wad the command was and hw to execute it...so wen the sir ask me to gv that command i anw went to blurt out a sentence wich hv the meaning of changing step during slow march.and the GESS guys seemed to knw everyting canx?idiotic freakos...
onli one word to decsribe the promo ------>SCREWD
gonna hv a re-promo i guess...owellz..wadeva...
after promo dragged ourself all the way bk to mobil and had our
dinner-cum-lunch-cum-breakfast..cool huh?was damn hungry...
tink me bossybarbie and fluffyhead cud hav jus fainted frm skipping all our meals...can u imagine 11 hours of waiting and foot-drilling[is there such a word]...WITHOUT FOOD?goodness...worst day of my lyf...
;1:36 PM.x
20040418
-phew-
finally im done with my logbook articles..
ahahahax..
chao tired...
hving backache liao le larx..
been staring at the computer screen frm lyk 11 juz now...
tired until cannot le..
haven bath yet[i mean evening-bath]
now left with the poster...
we have cum up with nicknames as in me becca peiting claudia.
shall create nickname for candice and teresa tmr..
ahahax...
lemme see..
peiting=egomonster
becca=bossybarbie
claudia=mongoosebabe
me=monkey.dodo.dummie.bird-brain[eeiyer the longest and the most not nicee one]
yesterday.
had np..and it was obviously..none of us like drills yday..
agreeed that we had the most terrible drills yday..
i fall out after 4 hours of doing drills due to muscle pull..mayb cuz of sports dae larx...
whoa..then leg..cudn move a single bit..chao pain canx?
move onli lyk kena electric shock..
stayed in a still position for lyk alomost an hour...
and yday was the ferst tym i fall out during np..never have i fall out before..
but yday reallie cudnt take it and fall out myself...
to squaddies:
dun be so angery kaes?can see that all of u all were filled with feelings of angst,tired and stuff lyk that yday and sum may even sae it sux..but rmb..after this sat...everyting will b over for us...no more intensive foot drills..lets juz put our hearts and souls into the drill practices for now..lets juz endure..and im sure we can do it this SAT!..whether u are a private or lance corp...im sure we can pass our promo..yupx..hv faith..and be confidant yarx?together we will strive as one...WE CAN DO IT DE....!!!
okie..gtg liao le...wanna go bath...byee..
;7:42 PM.x
20040416
i sux..as in reallie sux canx?
guess i was the one hu pulled my whole team down during the run...was running too fast in the beginning le and cuz me to slow down at the end...
totalli disappointed by myself...
i such a L-OSER!eurgh..i can nv make it as a runner...
to my 4x400m:
sorry...if it was my fault that we got last...but anw..good job...at least we tried our best...yupx...
to sum ppl out dere[not sumone-out-dere]:
y are we always being pick on?
evrytings our fault...
our fault...
our fault...
our fault...
y us?
y not them?
juz bcuz [them] are close to u while [them2] are juz babies?
that makes us stuck in the iddle
thus....
all of the faults will fall on us larx?
what shhiitt is dis?
crap it...pig it...
hate u ppl manx...
eurghh...
but wadeva it is...
we willl stay as one...
AND....
JUSTICE SHALL PREVAIL SUMDAY...
yupx thats all for todae...
now already lyk 11.03 and i haven prepare my np stuff...
die le larx...
byee...
;11:04 PM.x
20040414
im sorry to those who are affected...really din mean it horx..
wow!
evryting,everyone's GONE! totallie GONE, canx?.eurgh...the path in front of me is very very clear now..and what i cn see is that its filled with thorns...totalli din expect this to happen...but owellz...it juz happened..and wad cn i do..? NOTHING!
i dun even care about myself animore...and neither does other ppl around me cares... but i juz realise todae... i LURVE my SQUADDIES or rather the few bunch of crazy, fun-filling, mad, jokers [basically ppl lyk me]...remember.. U RAWK PPLE!!!
[to this bunch of ppl...]
*destiny[i tink uve gt the nicest name here]
*double-sided
*blurblock
*ms perfectionist
*ego teacher[hahax...]
thks alot for being there for me wen i nid u...thks alot alot..u all are really the best pals ive vea had in my whole of my life... sorry if ive been flaring up and irritate sum of u..i knw i did juz that to sum of u...reallie sorri...but wadeva its is...u r the greatest bunch of ppl ive eva gone thru my life in crescent with...lemme describe wad kind of ppl we are...
-crazy
-mad
-fun
and theres so much other words that cn b used to describe u ppl...and i mean nicee words...yupx...but wadeva it is...i think theres this bond and force that is strong, between us that keeps us together...and NO ONE...i really mean NO ONE...cn eva break this bond created...and anione hu's thinking of breaking us up...wad i cn sae is DREAM ON!true anotx? yea...
[double-sided]
read ur blog todae...wud juz wanna sae this...last yr's history will nv repeat itself...dunch worry yea?as far as i cn see...i dun tink it will eve repeat itself... wad i[we] did last yr was juz a shtoopid mistake...and im glad we're back togethre now...and more closer in fact..i dunch think this kind of things will eva happen agn as long as there's trust between us and the will of remaining together as one...yupx...abit the chim larx..but yrx...really mean wad i saed...
[destiny]
nicee way to call me huh? meanie piggie shortie..quite cute wen i cum to think of it...hahax...meanie=yes im mean...piggie=i din knw i was a pig?..shortie=shud i sae...'isnt that obvious?'...hahax...but yupx...thks for the friendship dae prez...esp the card..v v chio...but if hv colour nicer...tho i knw u lurve black so much...but yea...thks...and weneva u nid my help for that [thing]...juz call me up..ill try to make myself free...
[ms perfectionist]
tho i alwaiz gt irritated by u....and i do knw u alwaiz get irritated by me too...but thks for being the best class-squaddie...thks for alwaiz accompanying me to do stuff...and thsk for helping me out in studies...o and mayb...ill be in the same maths tution as u...my parents are considering it...
[blurblock]
heyy...i got ntg to write about u lehx...but...thks for alwiz helping me put a smile into my face with all ur lame...crappy jokes and sarcasm...tho i alwaiz win u in conversation..hahax...loser...but really thks for being a great pal...
[ego teacher]
u knw wad?u r the most ego person i eva see...[haha..destiny..u cn nv be more ego than this TEACHER here...]...u are alwaiz making us luff with all ur crappy lame jokes...[dun call 999 if u wan find me...call 222...]wadeva...hahax...but i lyk that...but yupx...keep on smiling lyk u alwaiz do and keep on cheering up ppl's life,ya?
whoa...i feel more cheer up after writing this entry...esp wen i remember those lame jokes created by our dearest 'teacher'...totalli make me luff non-stop canx?
anw...gtg liaox...
[[ntg can pull me down animore...hving knwn that i hv a great bunch of frenz around me makes me feel upright...but ill really really try my best to be more cheered up...but i cant promise...]]
;10:33 PM.x
20040411
HAPPIE BDAE RACHEL!!! =]
went for rachel's bdae party..and there were onli 5of us..hahax..but it was nice larx..got to eat pizza...nicenice..and not to forget i was being RAPED todae! they raped me...pigg...dey were lyk stripping me off my clothes...eeeyucks!was practically screaming my heads off and went sumone suddenly enter the room i stumble down the bed and hurt my wrist...v pain canx? eurgh..and they cn still luff summore..eeiyer...but overall...it was fun!hahax..gosh i found out that 4x400m gonna run AGN!!! I DUN WAN!!!aarghh...i dun lyk running 4x400 esp the first runner...eurghh...die liaox...
saturdae.
did drills during np...becca was absent cuz was feeling unwell...sent her home half way wen on the way to skl..she totalli scare me off canx?her face was chao white and pale...anw...drills was chao tiring...felt lyk being roasted there...had a terrible terrible headache after that...bish...but was enduring...
wad happen during debrief?..
dun wish to say anything...dun tink any of us gonna say anything...
den after that had maths corporation grp after that..went to IMM [burger king] and study with cand yunheng and cindy..was ok there...juz that the space too cramp le..not say alot lar horx...[was enduring w the headache]...eurgh...
[[hate it wen evrytings changing its way agn...cant stand it...bleahx...evryting's burning me inside...its hurting... evrytings being kept deep inside me...all compiled..its hurting.
burning.
killing..
deep within myself...
i hate this i hate this i hate this....WADS HAPPENING?!... forget it..i shall juz keep quiet...no one cares abt me anymore..evryones gone....GONE!
leaving me all alone by myself....]]
;10:29 PM.x
20040406
pain..pain..pain..pain..pain..pain..pain..
im tired..im tired..im tired..eurghh!!!
cant stand it anymore.. to depressed le larx..
had been feeling weird these few days...
in class?
my head keep on spinning and hurting...
wads happening manx?!
i knw im gonna fail my maths v v badly..
sure to be less than 5 one...
get more than 5 than wud be a miracle liaox...
but anw...
i tink i shud go make an owe-list...
owe many ppl many tings...hehe...
kk gtg...byee...
hey pt: remember? fate + destiny = brain concussion!!!
;10:25 PM.x
20040405
jus that in class was hving a splitting headache...and i actually went to gv atikah my panadols..so was practically enduring...yupx..
to [you]...
thks for the bdae pwezzie ya?totalli lurve it..yeapx..its the tot that counts...ill get u one on ur bdae...yupx...=D
anw..found this todae...
defination of ABYSS:
an abyss is as deep as your fear of the hidden feelings inside of you or of a situation that threatens your happiness. Falling in this abyss reflects your despair and anxiety.
[n] a bottomless gulf or pit
and this reflect totalli on me...
life totalli sux...
;10:33 PM.x
20040404
an abyss filled w water..
drowning deeper in it each day..
i finally realised...
deres no way outta here and ill nv b able to get out of it..
she always seem to be dere to help me...
but she's the one...
pushing me deeper into this dark hole..
making me breathless...
evryting ard me's dark..
cold..
freezing..
there's no way i can eve get out of this misery..
but y am still planting hopes on it to happen?
y am i so shtoopid?foolish?
all i cn do is to wish that sum1 wud finally bring me outta here...
sumone..sumhw..
;9:42 PM.x
was sick..had high fever..temp registered at 37.9..freaked myself out seeing my temp gg that high.. then after that totalli bursted in front of sum ppl..thks zakk[jnr], kelly,becca and 2 other ppl that i wont b revealing them here...thks alot..ya?tho it din really cheer me up..
[kelly.]
thks for letting me cry on u...help me quite a bit..yupx..thks..
yday.
went for np and did our service day.was in jessie maam's grp+2 sec1s..[grace and jiaying]...was ok larx..was quite scary at ferst budden after it was ok liao...den after that went home..and was alone cuz whole family went swimming..yupx..and sumone helped me with my blog and its totalli superb now...whee~!v happie.
today.
worst dae of my life.
bleahx..
totalli hate it...i learnt one thing todae...
evryting i do is all wrong.. a totali beeg mistake...
and to keep wateva im feeling or going thru all to MYSELF!
all to to myself...i shall not sae anything.. do anything to show ppl wad im feeling..absolute NOTHING!
shall juz keep evryting to myself..
piling each and evry sorrows in me..and let it burst within me and killing me as well..
dun wish to elaborate on it any further..
it totalli hurt me a bit onli wad...not alot at all..
and i din cry at all wad..onli flooded my room...
eurghh!
forget it..
am not gonna elaborate on it and getting myself bursting once agn...
its nt good to burst in front of ppl u knw..-bahh-
;9:15 PM.x
20040403
thks to...*ahemx!*...-zipp-..=X
im not suppose to reveal hu this person is...
but to [u]...
thks alot for helping me w my blog...THANKEW SHO MUCH!!! totalli lurve...lurving it to bits..thks ya?...-hugx-...=D
k cant stay for long..will update more tmr...byee...
;7:15 PM.x
wishlist
star bracelet.
a new wallet
new pencilbox
new bag.
engraved ring.
*to be with you forever
blogskiin by;jolenex
respect.x