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but anw..lets c wad i interesting happened?hm...
[thurs.]
went cps agn and did our dry prac...was better this tym round..juz that i got more blood clots! erpx...hate it cuz i was forever changing finger and see wich finger is more comfortable for shooting...so in the end both fingers oso got blood clots...urghx..cant stand it...bt now ok liao le..tho there is still a mark there...after shooting walk to the mrt station...then during the walk we sang cheer..and candice came w a brilliant idea...wich is... evry sentence of a cheer walk one step ONLI!so we were happily doing it and i was happily luffing my heads off lyk sum kinda crazee person..cant help it ma..born to be lyk that...hehx...
[fri.]
went out with kelly becca to far east..so nicee..took neoprints...very nice oso...hahax.fri ntg much la horx...
[sat.]
np..not realli nice..drills was horrible..dunch knw wad happen..evryting seemed to be done wrongly..i juz wish we cud improve as we go on..and i juz cant COMMAND! juz seemed that i lose my sense of direction...hahx...hate it..den after dismissal went to claud's hs and change to the shirt we all wearing for crezawards and we set off for orchard...and wat i realised is...I REALLY HV NO SENSE OF DIRECTION! i led becca,pt,cand and claud into taking the wrong mrt...and luckily becca realised it...and i was lyk..'ehh..ya hor...' so an advice frm me...dun eva try to walk sumwhere with me leading u ppl...u may expect to get stuck and lost... im such a loser manx...den we walk all the way frm heeren to far east...thks to me oso cuz we alighted at somerset instead of orchard mrt or city hall where we can take a shorter route...walk and walk and walk...then stg happen on the way...din knw wad was wrong with me...i cudn open the soft drink can..so in the put in a flat ground and open it..but in the end it ended up...the tab cut thru my finger...and the blood was lyk flowing lyk water yucks...pain manx...so decided that wen reach far east then wash the wound..wen we reach far east we took neoprints and neocards agn..after that i proceeded to the toilet and i found out that my wound had dried...and i tried washing the blood stain bt still cant...so in the end i open up the cut agn and let the blood flow while wash it under running water..was biting my other finger while washing that finger cuz the pain was chao stinging...den after that ate at macs and went back to skl...
crez awards was great...nice was all the while spying on sum ppl..and our p.i chow was doing a great job manx...the performance was great anw..me and pt was happily disscussing on rod..and we came up with agreat plan..hope that the sq will agree..yupx...and i still cant blif it BECCA AND CAND TRICKED ME!and i totalli din realise it all lorx..hahax...until on that sat itself pt told me...actually becca and cand triscked...they wanted u to end up being the onli one wearing skirt...i was lyk WAD?!they very mean canx?but in the end at least i hv claud to wear skirt with me...THKS CLAUD!!! but in the end hor sum ppl oso ended up wearing skirt lorx..haix...hahax...
anw yeah...gtg liao...
;10:11 PM.x
20040323
never talk about feeling if u dun really care.
never hold my hand if u're gonna break my heart,
never sae u're gonna if u dun plan to start.
never look into my eyes if all u do is lie,
never sae hie if u really mean goodbye.
if u really mean forever..pls sae ull try
never say forever..cuz forever makes me cry.
if u're asking if i nid u,
the answer is forever...
if u're asking if i'll leave u,
the answer is never...
if u're asking wat i value,
the answer is u...
if u're asking if i love u,
the answer is i do...
;10:25 PM.x
dunch knw lar...
anw juz wanted to update that i saw GHOST...eiyeer...freaked me out until now canx...have difficulty slping evrynyt canx? shtoopid marbles and eyes...those hu wanna knw find me personally...but it'll still depends whthr ill tell...anw...
went to watch beuty and the beast on fridae...chao nice tho was being seated sumwhere at the back..but still gd enuff cuz cud see the whole thing...yupx...juz that wanna sae that singaporeans are SO PUNTUAL!the show was to start at 4.30 and ended up starting at 4.40...and there were still ppl cuming in aftre that...then the shtoopid usher knwing that the show had started still can walk up and down the steps lyk sum kinda elephant! was irritating me so much canx? shtoopid...uncivilised...
todae had shooting at clementi police station...nice juz that i gt internal bleeding in my finger cuz cudnt pull the trigger properly..jean and candice oso..but overall was nice...fantastic...anw...before going to cps.. suppose to buy bread for lunch...but i said i hv eaten..and where does ur food goes when u eat it? in ur STOMACH rite? this is for a person hu ask me where is ur food wen ive told her ive eaten it...urgh..was quite pissed off cuz a little irritated ma...anw.ya...gtg liao byee..
;10:21 PM.x
20040318
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[kell.s3]
thks for being there for me wen i needed u the most..thks for being there for me..-huggs-
[anony2]
dunch noe whtr u gonna read this anot..but wadeva it is..thks for helping me those few daes..uve been a great help..thks for the nice phrases and quotes..thks for evrything that uve done...ur help reaches way beyond kindness and i dunch noe hw i can eva repay ur it..thks for being there for me too...=]
[zakk.sec1]
hey cheer up yea?rmb gt anything dun bottle up..illbe there to help u no matter wat state i am in...thks for the willingness to hear out my probs...=]
[nivy.]
thks for being there for me oso..stay adorable alwayz..and keep smiling..u lk great that way...-winkz-..=]
[sumone-out-dere]
heyy..im not sure whtr ull even noe im referring to..i hope ull knw..yeapx..so anw..thks for allowing me to shre my problems with u...a great help shud i sae?yupx..abt the snr thing..ill tell hu she is wen the tyms rite,k?hehx..=]
[[squaddies]]
[farz.]
hey gurl..cheer up yea?uve been the greatest help for me...thks alot.. thks for being there wen i was terribly down for the past few days and months.. thks for being there thru my difficulties..yepx..thks alot..-huggs-
[becca.]
hm..for u?well..thks for spending[rather wasting tym] tym with me after skl..last term..thks for hearing to my nonsense..wud also wanna apologise cuz made u feel un-wanted that tym..din mean to that.. thks for being a great friend..-winkz-
[candice.]
heyy..ms evrything..let see..thks for being with during skl tym...really appreciate ur companion..despite my tempre and mood-swings..and sorri again for flaring up at u that tym..was juz too fustrated..yupx..hope u undestand..cya during np this sat..-winkz-
[peiting.]
hie..ms wadeva?hahax...thks for crapping ard with me...yupx and stay funnie always..
we RAWK rmb?[or mayb i rawk more?]
[claudia.]
ntg to comment on u de...juz stay blur alwayz...thks for being a great sqmate anw.. lalala~!
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thats all..to those ive missed out..reallie sorrie...too long de if i list the whole list of names..
;4:45 PM.x
y is evryone doing this to me?
making empty promises..
planting false hopes for me..
then after they gt enuff of fooling ard w me..they ditch dash me lyk this..
is this wad u call fair?
kk..shall update abt my life..
hm..haven been gd lately..
but yupx..i guess i juz hafte endure.. suffer in silence...
im juz too dumb to do anything..
i can think no more...
it juz feels too cold and im juz too numb to do anything..
i hate this..y muz dis happen to me?
y issit repeating again and again annd again?
y me?
y does got hafta test me this way...its unfair...
y does the same thing..same hurting keep on happening to me?
y am i always the one suffering?
cant i hv a person hu cares abt me forever?
y muz ppl always ditch me?
put me aside after getting enuff of meand pretend that i dun exist anymore?
am i a toy?
or am i an animal or ur dog which u use to play with it wen u r bored and put aside after u finish playing with it?
im not ok?
even if i am...animals hv feelings u noe..
and so do i...
well wad i can do now is try forgetting abt u..try forgetting that u even exist...bt will i b able to do that? I DUNCH NOE!
;4:01 PM.x
20040317
bt she's still haunting me...
y muz she even exist in my lyf?
she's so nice to me last tym...
BUT Y IS SHE IGNORING ME NOW?
this is so unfair..
y muz u leave me lyk this?
do u noe hw hurting this is?
last tym u were the one hu helped me get over[her]...but now..its U !
y muz u make empty promises of being there for me wen u cant do it?
y dash and hurt me lyk that?
hw long will u torture me lyk this?
y dunch u juz kill me and put an end to all this?uve oredi killed half of me...y left the other half exposed to all this painful tortures?y dunch u juz kill it as well?let it die so i wont hafta suffer...
a snr lyk u doing this to me?i still nid ur hand to guide me thru my lyf..
thru the obstacles in my life...but nv i expect u r the biggest obstacle i gotta overcome...last tym was to get over [her] but now its to get over u...y do u hafta do this to me?hw am i gonna get over u?where do i get the strength to do that?im still in a weak position, needing ur guidance..but u abruptly left me alone..stranded lyk this...hw do u tink i can eva move on?u left me on the ground...wounded,hurted lyk this...hw am i suppose to get the strength to eva move on with lyf again?
cum back.. i nid u now...but my effort is juz lyk shouting to the ocean which will neva answer me back..i juz hope i can turn back tym to wen u still cared abt me...where u meant the whole world to me...nw things hv changed too fast..to painfully...cried the whole nite yday bcuz of this...was juz too hurt..im suffering quietly..painfully...but yet u are completely oblivious to all this...thats bcuz theres a layer of mask that covers all my sufferingwhich is getting thinner by day...
onli one word to describe this-->sux!
but if this is ur decision-->to leave me..., then ill respect yr decision,k?ill juz hv to accept and liv thru it..and walk thru this damp,cold,dark tunnel of lyf alone again...which nv seem to end..but hweva.. thks for brightening it for that v short period of tym and stealing the light back frm it..thks for that..
still hoping for sumone to bring that light back and lighten my way thru this tunnel and wishing for sumone to lend me a guidance hand that will guide me thru my life as well..
;2:20 PM.x
20040316
k lets see wad happen...
[fri.]
erm..stayed back after school with candice,peiting,claudia and rebecca...wanted to help peiting and claudia polish her boots but turns out that peiting brought a tiny cloth that was also the wrong type and i juz cudnt make the boots shine or neither can polish it properly...but then
[sat.]
hm.. had np..after that stayed back with farzanah and a few others to celebrate farzanahs bdae... had a choc cake...v nice... decided to play trick on farzanah asked her to stand in front of me cuz i wanna tell her stg...then wen shes infront of me i took the cream on the cake and splat it on her face...wahahaha...and she was basically running ard the canteen and the parade square chasing after me to take revenge which was shud i sae...fruitless... [farzanah's a LOSER!whee~ jokin]...but in the end i gave up cuz very tired running around the place and she smeared the cream onto my face and some of the choc got onto my shirt as well n it was stained of course.but i manage to smear sum on her AGAIN! hahax.chao fun and funny and in the end both of us were stuck in the toilet trying to get rid of the stain which totalli a waste of effort la....then left skl at abt erm 1.30? and ate lunch at mobil....toktoktok..eateateat until lyk 2...then went hm...and my hs was empty la cuz whole of family at sentosa den i dun wanna follow ma....hehx.. had a gd tym at hm manx...
thats all...dunno watta sae le...
candice:sorri for flaring up on u on saturdae...din mean it..was in a bad mood thats y...sorri,ya? =]
;3:34 PM.x
wishlist
star bracelet.
a new wallet
new pencilbox
new bag.
engraved ring.
*to be with you forever
blogskiin by;jolenex
respect.x