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todae morning was in a very very hyper mood.was lyfing lyk siao lorx.dunno y oso.hope this last longer.dun wanna depressed lorh.hm.. but depressed tot kps cuming bk into my mind.wad a life.
aAargh!!!haven finish my art yet!shuts manx! gonna get scolded by mrs tan lorx. haiz.still cramping on my art project.how?how?how?die le.will try to finish it up by tmr.or else ar...sure to die one.haiz..
anw.gtg le.ciao!-winkz-
[[aAargh!!!! i still cant blif it!I LOST MY CONFIDANTE!!!! so shud i set aside abottle for me to bottle up evrything again lyk wad i use to do?i dunno.am juz being left in the world of my own.to drastic le.haiz.]]
;10:21 PM.x
20040122
erm anw.helped kelly[nc] find her lib bk.. went to bishan bus interchange and ask the counter if they've found anything.. then dun hv...went to junction8 to eat lunch...budden i went back to the interchange and gave the man my number so that if gt find the book can contact me.then rmb-ed kelly said the bus[bus56] plate number was 9012 stg stg...then saw the bus w that plate number.then wanted to board the bus but rmb-ed cousin still in j8.so went bk.saw her eating, so i ate too.dun wanna her to starve bcuz of me.brought her along w ma.den waited for the bus 56.waited for the bus w the same plate number.ard 5 buses went past but all in vain..wasnt the bus we were waiting for.wen the bus finally came, boarded it...look for the books.pppl in the bus was looking at us weirdly cuz we were lyk luffing lyk sum kinda mad ppl.hahaz.look at lower deck.nothing...went upper deck,nothing.dunno y lor.tho it wasn my bk.then saw stg at the side of one of the seat.checked it out...but IT WASN THE BOOK!finally gave up and alighted the bus.was changing frm laughters to nearly breaking down.was lyk so disappointed tho i was luffing in front of my cousin lyk wat lor.but i really feel lyk crying lor.
to kelly:
ermx.. kelly sorri,k?tried my best to help u find ur bk but it still wasn there.but erm ill be checking with the lib for u tmr...see whther any1 helped u return ur book.u juz hafta keep ur fingers cross,ya?aAargh..dunno y i feel lyk im a L-OSER!but anw.ill try all the ways possible to help u find the book,k?yeah.nv been this helpful before.hahaz.count urself lucky,ya?
erm anw gotta buzz off le.cousin need to use the com.
i hate it when its one-sided..why does sum ppl can hv it two-sided,while mine is always one-sided???why is the world so UNFAIR?am always disappointed lyk this lor.i keep trusting myself that it wont repeat again but the reality always happen the other way round.wad is this lor?ITS SO UNFAIR!!!things hv been changing drastically lor..ppl,surrounding,health..but the bitter truth is that its all changing for the worst and,but mayb..im the one's changing..i dunno..I HATE ALL THIS!!!
;11:34 PM.x
20040119
was gg to my religious class and need to cross the road...got drenched for lyk...2 mins.then walked frm bustop to aunts hs...drenched=5 mins.came back frm religious class.cross the road wrongly.forgot to use the traffic lights so got stuck in the middle of the road and....drenched=15 mins.then walked back frm bustop to my house..drenched=20mins.total tym kena drenched...=42 mins,rite?[if no calculation error]whoa.reached home was lyk shivering non-stop,canx?put bag down and str8 away grab clothes+towel and took a hot shower.nicenice.yeah.felt much beta tho it was still cold for me.took dinner and did hw after that.then came online.to research on PBL topics.shan sae wad the topic is.later kena kill by Joyce ar...i hope i wont get sick or flu tmr....yeah.
o0o...and ive juz been divorced by my husband...so sad lor.haiz... =[..but watta do...[he] doesnt lyk me anymore.watta a life.aiyeE.anw gtg le.mum's gonna kill me soon.-bahH- heck her la.
depression still looming over me.....it went away during the holidays lyk the wind blows and it came back to me now lyk rushing water...SUMBODY HELP ME....im tired of wearing a mask... -sighz-
;11:19 PM.x
20040118
to sumone...
why wont u blif me?i dun hate [her].. mayb the rest hates [her].. but not me.she mayb sum sort of angry this daes and i do get pissed off and irritated by that but that doesn mean i hate [her].. I DUN lor!u may not know that im refering to u but if u do.. pls blif me.. i dun hate [her].. i knew it.. i knew long ago that i was the cause of ur cries that day.. u r always telling me its not my fault.. but sumting in me.. sumting strong.. keeps telling me that im the one.. i dunno wat i need to do to make u blif me.. but this is all i hafta sae to u.. sorry for wad i've done[tho i dun even noe wad izzit that ive done] to u and mayb to [her]..and take care alwayz..
m sori...im juz too depressed and in no mood to type.. things juz keep gg the wrong way.. i tried to change the way it goes.. but i dun have the strength to do it.. and i juz cant do it.. aargh... im so stressed up.. i feel lyk gg back to my old ways of handling all this kinda stuff.. but shud i?SHUD I? AARGH IM SO STRESSED UP NOW!!!!! i shall juz hear to wat my heart says.. i may go bk but i may not...it all depends... =[
WADS HAPPENING TO ME?
;11:15 PM.x
20040116
i noe im the root cause for all this to happen la.if i hadnt tell any1 abt my probs last tym...sure all this wont happen lor..-bahH-..wadeva it is...i hope all this will b over soon.i wanna see ppl smiling again lor.all this had cuz me to b in such a depressed mood lor.and if anyone hu had sms-ed the past few daes and felt that i sound angry in my msg-es.. im sori,k?am juz not in the mood..ya.. sori...=[ im not even in the ood to smile now lor...
o yea..wish to dedicate sumthings to sum ppl...
farz:dun b depressed la,k?smile...i wanna c the cheerful old u again.if u gt anything,juz cum find me,k?ill be dere to help u,k?and erm..take care...
malikka:hey...dun cry le la,k?dun b too sad oso...if its my fault,then im really sori,k?din mean for all this to happen.smile,k?yeah take care too!
aysha:erm dunno if u'll read this la...but i dun u'll b reading it la.erm..juz wanna tell u that im not angry w u la.anw.its all been done.ntg can b done to turn back tym and improve situation,rite?wont blame u for anything..and dun tink too much,k?u did ntg wrong to me...so juz relax and calm down..
erm gt np tmr..new sec1s cuming down.dunno wad'll happen tmr lor.hope that it'll turn out fine la.and i hope i wont broke down lor.w all these stuff..stuffed into my rain..i dunno if i can take it tmr.but ill try my best...yeah...hope that the sq talk will improve our bonds together
;10:57 PM.x
20040115
-haiz- so sian now.ntg to do.go online oso not many ppl to chat.
after skool at ard...4.. went to westmall w yakka,becca and becca's fren[church fren.. guess]..dunno i tink his name's Jason or stg lyk that.he's frm np too la.at least thats wat becca told us..and he's a sergeant[is that hw i spell it?] or stg lyk that.then becca did her hw, and yakka drew her comic book and me?i was juz crapping and rotting w my hp.cuz gt ntg to do ma.but so shtoopid one..i sms but none replied.hmpf!den was so bored.no one to sms to..den ntg to do summore... -siansiansian-
then had mass run todae.was ok la.and erm..my mortal found out hu i am le lor.shtoopid,k?i was so shtoopid to sign off my letter as Shafina intead of my nickname.then in the end she found out hu i am lor.how dumb can i b?.-sighz-
haiz mummy in hospital now.was admitted yday.got stg lyk...'stone in stomach' or stg lyk that.i oso dunno.bt yeah hope she recovers soon.bt gt a few days of freedom without her ard at least.lyk now?I CAN USE THE NET!!!!
farzanah [dear]:u relax,k?dun be too stressed up,k?got anything juz find me and ill help u,k?
dun feel gd now...but anw.gtg le.will try to update as often as possible.chiao!
;10:38 PM.x
20040111
[fri]
erm..stayed bk after skool and decorated the rifles.then went tbp and ate lunch+dinner.ate at bk.we were hving loads of fun imitating ms susan tan actions.dun wish to elaborate la.then went bk to skool and pass farz her dinner.haha.k im loser,k?i dropped farz's fries and in the end the fries left less than 1/2 of the box onli.. then the drink i forgot to take straw lor.hahaz.sori hor.heez.. :] den after that had campfire for sec1s.then pt gave me light stick.so nice.purple colour one.but too bad no orange la.and erm.watch the np performance.wanted to take video but i ended up screwing the e whole thing lor.so onli manage to take pics and it was so damn dark lor.but the perfomance was great lor.tho a little screwed.it was still nice.and dere were more good comments than bad ones...
so to all the sec3 and sec4 maams...cheer up,k?its all over and the truth is...ur perfomance was well done-d...smile always...
[sat]
had the cca selection dae.went to hrnderson w nurul and yongni maam, rebecca,farz and hidayah.greeted the sirs dere and becca nearly greeted one of them as maam..haha.den went bk to skool and suddenly it started raining.carried all the stuff at the booth and put under shelter.but bsides the rain others were quite ok.mange to bring quite alot of ppl to our booth and let them try the 'warden's walk'.one of the rope obstacles.wad i realise is that the sec1s r scared of np lor.dunno y.mayb they think its too tough.but anw.got a shock of my life wen miss lau[new maths tcher]is the new tcher officer of the unit.still cant blif it lor.haiz.but anw.learn new cheers oso.got one guni one.dun wish to elaborate la.no comments.then maams got another chance to do the performance again...and it so much better and it was chao SUPERB lor!gd job,ya?then after the whole thing was over did the funni cheer and was lyk luffing lyk siao.budden i think lost mi mood towards the end of the whole thing.was hving headache again.v pain.but tried to smile.den after that went to drink bubble tea w becca and yk.haha.
i owe becca 3 whacks and 10 slaps.whoa...die le.and i keep on hitting her lor.then everytym adds up to the pile of whacking,smacking and slapping.ill die.hahaz.and becca found [sumting] in my wallet!aiyeE~tsk.open my wallet for wat ar?becca..dun tell anyone,k?especially..u noe hu...pls...-begging-
k gtg le.buaiz
whoa i blog v long hor.haha.bt anw.ill try to blog more often.
;10:26 PM.x
20040103
but anw.had np todae.an official one.had pt in the morning.was a light one actually.did one set[i think or 2,not sure] of pumpings and crunches, 30 each.then run around the field for lyk 3 rounds and went to the g-block area to run also.then me, pt, mandy maam, and xin qian maam did the 'switched-side window' thing.was fun la.but the not fun thing was...it was being cam-med!but nvm....
then had muster parade.actually forgot all my pledge and march le.but sumhow or rather gotta memorized evrything bk le now.then had...erm...erm...er...er...wad ar?omg...i cant rmb lor.wait lemme think.... but nvm shall cum bk to that later.
erm anw..went to make an attempt to [sum1]'s hs w peiting after being dismissed.and guess wad?!she's not at home!whoa was lyk so angry lor.told me she's gonna call me on i dunno which day the nite to tell me her new phone number, bt as ive expected...she din call in the end.so currently all the np activities she nv cum down bcuz of wad?cant contact her.m trying to get to her asap.pt said she's plan to go her hs at 6 juz now.dunno whether she's really gonna do it.bt wadeva it is...GD LUCK PT!
o..juz rmb-ed wad ive forgotten.after muster parade went to temp block and did souvenir.we r finishing le rite?izzit?r we finishing?i oso dunno la but i hope so.we all do it for so long le.ok.then after that was dismiss and went to westmall to the popular to help mum buy stg.o btw.sori becca and cand.made u all wait for so long. din mean to hor.cuz was being delayed wen i went to [sum1]'s hs.anw.after that drank bubble tea w becca!and out of a sudden we saw so many NP ppl ard.its lyk practically evrywhere we turn got np ppl.usually always see lyk 2-4 at the most but suddenly todae i think saw more than 10.haiz...wonder y?-still wondering-
-aww-.. my heads hurting alot.been hving alot of headache this few days lor.its lyk the pain will 'attack' me[is that the rite word for it?well..i dunno] then fades away after a while but then withing a few minutes ill get another 'attack'!whoa...very painful lor.stg's wrong w me!or mayb......... i got a..... brain tumour!.... okok... i dunno wad exactly this is.told my mother but she did nothing.. onli told me to eat panadols... -sigh-.. im sick of eating panadols... will onli eat it if i really need it.. bt anw doesnt she even noe that we r running out of panadols le? -aww- its striking me again.but nvm shall endure and try to fifnish up this entry.wooHoo~... my world's spinning! -aww-....and ive been hving weird feelings lately.on thurs cudnt gt to slp till lyk abt 1am cuz head was hurting badly.... WADS HAPPENING TO ME?...
;8:39 PM.x
wishlist
star bracelet.
a new wallet
new pencilbox
new bag.
engraved ring.
*to be with you forever
blogskiin by;jolenex
respect.x